WAVES

As I looked out across the sea

I thought I saw her wave to me

But knowing she, loved me no more

I turned and walked back from the shore

Where all my dreams, hopes and desires

Lay shipwrecked, tangled up like wires

So wiping tears and biting lip

I allowed my fragile mind to skip

To days ahead, away from past

Which like the shoreline stretched so vast

And on that beach I made a vow

To never feel again what I felt now

Years on now, I look out to sea

Remembering all she did to me

The waves I now see become the tide

And wash away the memories inside.

© marvo 2021
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critique and comments welcome.
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Griffonner

I read this as a tale of an unsatisfactory relationship. Sad that there are so many ‘shipwrecked’ and ‘tangled’ emotions and beliefs created by unthinking partners in this World. But we are all simply human beings; all of us unique, but none of us perfect. Clearly the protagonist’s memories have not been completely washed away, else this lament would not have been written.
Allen

Dodgem

Bloody Hell – this is good! OK I’m biased, toward poetry that both rhymes (correctly) and also take the reader along. Of course, this will never do, in todays climate of obscurant proesy!

Dodgem

A bit more to add – my earlier comment was partly wine inspired! You may want to adjust the ninth line from the bottom – where you end the line: ‘away from past’; its a minor quibble, but I think ‘away from the past’ scans better. I’m also a bit confused about the punctuation (here he goes again folks!) You have mostly abstained from punctuation in the body of the poem, apart from commas; the first one in the third line down breaks the meaning and I can’t see a reason for it. Just quibbles, and not distracting from an… Read more »

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