Fifty Words

I have tasked myself to create one of these per week. I allow exactly 50 words. 


House Clearance

Gus Guller, surveying the possessions of the late Mrs Burford, spotted the genuine Lowery painting. ‘A worthless copy’ he told her naïve nephew, ‘I’ll give you £5 for the frame.’

He went upstairs inspecting,

Gus returned, the nephew handed him the frame.

‘Where’s the picture?’

‘Back garden, on the bonfire.’

 

Crab Paste

The wife went to pick up the prescriptions yesterday. ‘Bring me something for a sandwich,’ I told her.

Back home, she made me a sandwich.

I took one bite and spit it out ‘Good God woman, what’s this?’

‘Crabs paste’ she said, ‘it was on special offer at the chemists.’

 

A Word of Warning

I saw grumpy old Fred approaching, I can’t stand him, so I crossed the road.

He saw me avoiding him. ‘Dog’ he yelled, his brolly pointing.

‘Pig’ I screamed back at him, brandishing my walking stick. 

That was the moment before this Rottweiler sank its fangs into my arse.

 

The Wigan Treasure Hunt

Participants were handed a clue sheet: “Look for a rook on a dock”. Everybody dashed to Wigan Pier.
‘Found it old George said, pointing to a small statue.
‘That’s a duck on a rock,’ said his Missus.
‘Look at the clue setter’s name.’ said George.
‘WA Spooner? Oh, Clever you.’

 

A Wash and Brush up

I told the doctor about my haemorrhoids.
‘They itch something awful, doctor.’
‘How are you treating them at present?’ he asked.
‘I scrub them vigorously with a toothbrush.’
‘Not the brush you clean your teeth with, I hope?’
‘Of course not,’ I said, my indignation flaring, ‘I use the wife’s.’

 

© pronto 2021
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critique and comments welcome.
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Kjs68

And in a pronto fashion we have ‘Fifty shades of gleeful’- Just like that!

Is the end goal 50 flash fiction stories? Hope so…

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Guaj

Five clever little gems here Pronto
It’s much more difficult than it looks to write a meaningful piece in so few words and get the right balance of humour and irony.
You’ve made it look easy.

Burning a Lowry – that made me wince 🙂

Last edited 30 days ago by Guaj
Dodgem

Brilliant pronto! These made me laugh out loud. A nice change from of the gloom and doom.

Dougie

Supratik

Brilliant, Pronto. It’s so difficult to write something meaningful in so few words and you have added wit and humor to them. For the readers, it’s like buy one get two. Well done!

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