Two Jailbirds. One Stone.



It’s real quiet. No clanging doors. No clatter of shuffling boots. Been a while since we had total lockdown. Soon we’ll start the cell-to-cell search.

Took ten seconds to pull Whacky-Will Boulder off Sly Penny, but that’s all he needed to crack open Sly’s head like a coconut.

Whacky’s a lifer. His mum’s been bringing him copies of the Beano and Dandy every Wednesday for fifteen years — keeps him calm. By Sunday Whack’s read every word and memorised each cartoon. We’re all on edge on Tuesdays when Whacky’s withdrawal kicks in. Nobody’s allowed near his sacred stack of back numbers.

This morning Whacky’s new Beano disappeared while he was showering. Berserk weren’t the word. His manic search found it on Sly’s bed while Sly was in the canteen. Nobody knows how it got there. Sly never got the chance to explain. His brains all over the wall put everybody off their grub.

Anyway. No loss. Now the prison drug dealer’s dead things will be easier.

Those clueless pen-pushers approved Whacky for parole — he’d have been out next month. We knew letting him back on the street was like signing someone’s death warrant.

Sometimes us screws have to put things straight.

© Guaj 2022
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Nice old school ‘Lockdown’ take with the vigilantism close.


I like the imaginative use of the Lockdown concept. It is short, gruesome, and has twist. Nice one.


Odd how the word lockdown has become associated with Covid. Kudos to you, Guaj, for thinking outside the box and being original.
Cheers, Luigi


Hi, Guaj. I had to read this twice before it clicked. I must be running low on mental bandwidth today. Yes, a clever angle. 🙂
Not sure that there was any need for the surnames though. The puzzling (to me) ‘Will-Boulder’ diverted my attention, I thought ‘Whacky’ was enough for ID purposes.
If you’ve got a VPN, watch Time on BBC’s iPlayer – it’s a frightening (and apparently authentic) three-part portrayal of life inside with Sean Bean as one of the leading protagonists.


I’ve tried writing stories to a fixed word-count but generally avoid it because I like working to a natural conclusion. You’ve got more discipline than me!
The free Opera browser comes with a VPN. I use the excellent VPN on my paid-for Avast security suite so I don’t know how good theirs is but I guess it’s worth a go for gratis. I imagine streaming might be a bit slow at busy times.


I haven’t heard of anything of Cardstop, Guaj. Yep, that Covid compensation offer is a complete scam; the lockdown is a perfect fishbowl for lowlifes like that to flourish.


I liked the story – though I’m biased toward a story; and the final twist ‘screws putting things straight’….perfect!


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