Wordless (fine tuned)

 

 

 

      Wordless - Stormwolf

 

poem has been amended due to a typo and also, once posted I felt it could do with a brush up.  (thanks Luigi)


In silence, I watched him leave
mute with disbelief. 

‘Wordless’ has become my portent,
escape from un-corked expression
leading to short-circuiting,
mind-blowing
emptiness.

Chatter is superficial,
meaningless.

Overwhelming emotion
integration of great pain
is internally processed
in wound-licking solitude.

Blood red with feeling
too raw for sharing…

Wordless.

© stormwolf 2020
Views: 229
critique and comments welcome.
Subscribe
Notify of
10 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Ifyouplease

there is a typo, solitude

‘too raw’, almost felt what I have felt and perhaps still feeling at times. terse.

xx

Bhi

“Too raw for sharing” but the sharing has been framed extremely well. Wordless defined in an altogether wordful way.

Griffonner

I am reading this as an attempt at describing those emotions and feelings that come when a relationship sets sail on a diverse course. So precise in defining that sense of abandonment/frustration that makes us either lost for words or fearful of expressing them!

I hope I read that right. But no matter, at least it resonated with me on one level.
Blessings and love
Allen x

Ionicus

It may be a striking picture and it’s a pity that the mistyped word of this lovely poem cannot be changed. My suggestion would be to delete it in its present format and resubmit it as a text without the fancy picture which in my opinion does not add to the quality of the piece which is excellent.
Luigi x

Guaj

Oh Alison . . . .

I didn’t read the earlier version, I had a bad day yesterday (effing Banks!) but this really, to me, paints only too graphically, the terrible feeling of not knowing how you should feel when someone abandons you unexpectedly. Gave me goose bumps.
Having stared out at nothing (and feeling nothing) on such occasions I feel the picture is perfect. (sorry Luigi)

Flag Content