Fighting My Inner Darkness

Fighting My Inner Darkness

SVH

To keep my own sanity in check I must make my wits calm as I laid my eyes on the horizon and I am constantly thinking of my inner darkness.

 Some say I am crazy, but I say I’m forced to tell myself the truth of it all just because 

I need to and learn my own truths and lies. 

Where my mind will take me I do not not know, but all in all I am confident it will get better sometime soon.

 My strengths are what make me invincible while my weaknesses make me human.

 I count my blessings every time I receive one, but so many are given to me at a time and it’s overwhelming.

 I am grateful, happy and free and honest on the outside.

 Do not forget that. 

However, what lies beneath the skin is another story. 

Things are much worse and chaotic than I can describe to you. 

Worst of nightmares of my future self staring blankly back at me, never doing anything but smiling. Oh, yes. 

That smile that is etched upon my features tells me I hide all of my greatest anxieties.

 My fears. But most of all my deep sense of loss.

 I haven’t yet discovered my own cure for depression, but once I conquer my inner darkness.

 Seeing myself happy never lasts forever, so what can I do to make it a reality?

 It’s already dead enough as it happens to be.

Just let me suffer for eternity

© SpikeFox87 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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Ifyouplease

hello and welcome to Ukauthors, a very interesting first submission, it seems to me this is a prose poem.

Royrodel

Yes indeed . The chaos of knowing that we’re not really moral ,we’re just afraid in case we get caught .

Griffonner

I’d like to offer a welcome too, SpikeFox87. 🙂

Whilst I was reading your poem I was aware of being able to see ‘where you were coming from’ – for which you are to be congratulated. 🙂 Nevertheless, I would venture to say that I really do hope that when it comes to Eternity you will not choose to suffer. 😉

Cordially.

Supratik

Welcome to UKAuthors.
With this, I guess you have voiced the suffering of the whole world. A good start.
Best.
Supratik

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