Reminiscence (Poetry Challenge)
What ancient eye looks through me from this frail photograph?
What horizon does it see beyond my many years left to live?
Give me the faith you had when your eyes shone the light
That stilled me forever in shades now so gray and grave.
O what power I have gotten but not the wisdom to use
When after many years and pictures, I grew up.
If such frozen moments reflect what was,
What is it now that looks from these eyes, a man or a child?
the way you wrote about wisdom it is as if wisdom is simply permission to use your power. that’s the main new idea I have to ponder over. that’s really great …it made me ‘think differently’ in such a simple way and see something new about a subject such as ‘wisdom’.
has a very strong effect on the reader especially the first strophe.
For me, wisdom comes with age. When we are young, we have the power but not the wisdom, and when we are old, we have the wisdom but not the power. That my poem made you ‘think differently’ and see something new about ‘wisdom’ is all I could ask for in a reader. Thank you for your comment.
Glen: can’t remark on the girls and skip you. you’ve caught the moment, cleanly, clearly. minor niggles, would probably cut “ancient” and “frail”, at least one of the two. beyond that, perhaps revisit “many” in the second line and “so” in the fourth line. good poem, and i didn’t realize you were ever so young. Swep
Thank you, Swep, for your careful reading and most astute suggestions. Yes, I was once ever so young…alas the years have caught up to me. Whether I’ve acquired any wisdom from them, remains a question mark.
Shy, I like the idea of this poem, a lot. The conceit. At least in the way I’m understanding it; an adult male looking back at his boyhood self through a photograph and asking questions of that boy concerning what he himself has become. Or not become. Reminds me of the poems I keep writing, the conversations I keep having, with the grandfather who was dead years and years before I was born. Here are the very moving lines that evoked in me such a sense of sadness and loss-to-self: Give me the faith you had when your eyes shone… Read more »
Thank you, Bel, for your most considerate and considered comment (sorry for my tardiness in replying). I appreciate the niggles you and Swep have pointed out, and am definitely going to give them my full consideration. I’ll attempt to disambiguate those two lines which are leading to confusion: Yes, it sees beyond MY many years left to live. It’s the speaker looking at the photograph who has all those years (supposedly). And the one that looks from THESE eyes, a man or a child, is the speaker, who is now an adult (if he has indeed matured with age). Your… Read more »
This small beautifully written piece is power packed with word play and images. The lines have an instant connect with readers, across boundaries. Well done. 10/10 from an Indian editor.
Thank you, supratik, for your very generous comment. I find it most rewarding whenever one of my poems connects with a reader such as yourself.
Cher Loup: Sometimes, we of the old soul sector feel the wheel turnings more acutely. I believe that to be true of you, my dear. Your photo is a fitting accompaniment to this piece. Anyway, your introspective piece points out the truth, imo. We are often gifted with the wisdom too late in life to use the power we had in our youth well. Your last line is particularly poignant and for myself, I can say that I hope the me behind these old eyes is a combination of both, adult and child in some semblance of balance. I cannot… Read more »
Most Sweet: It’s been too long since your last gynecological exam. Please schedule an appointment sometime around midnight when the howling of witches and wolves crack the night with the bone-chilling sound of animal lust and longing. As you can see, I’ve missed your fine work also. I haven’t published much on UKA of late, I think I’m in some sort of prolonged gestational period…at least, I hope so. Thank you for your very observant and informed comment. It’s good to see you back and I hope to read some of your excellent writing on UKA. Yours in howling, Cher… Read more »