Reminiscence (Poetry Challenge)

 

What ancient eye looks through me from this frail photograph?
What horizon does it see beyond my many years left to live?
Give me the faith you had when your eyes shone the light
That stilled me forever in shades now so gray and grave.

O what power I have gotten but not the wisdom to use
When after many years and pictures, I grew up.
If such frozen moments reflect what was,
What is it now that looks from these eyes, a man or a child?

© shywolf 2020
Views: 1863
critique and comments welcome.
Subscribe
Notify of
10 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Ifyouplease

the way you wrote about wisdom it is as if wisdom is simply permission to use your power. that’s the main new idea I have to ponder over. that’s really great …it made me ‘think differently’ in such a simple way and see something new about a subject such as ‘wisdom’.
has a very strong effect on the reader especially the first strophe.

Slovitt

Glen: can’t remark on the girls and skip you. you’ve caught the moment, cleanly, clearly. minor niggles, would probably cut “ancient” and “frail”, at least one of the two. beyond that, perhaps revisit “many” in the second line and “so” in the fourth line. good poem, and i didn’t realize you were ever so young. Swep

Belcanto

Shy, I like the idea of this poem, a lot. The conceit. At least in the way I’m understanding it; an adult male looking back at his boyhood self through a photograph and asking questions of that boy concerning what he himself has become. Or not become. Reminds me of the poems I keep writing, the conversations I keep having, with the grandfather who was dead years and years before I was born. Here are the very moving lines that evoked in me such a sense of sadness and loss-to-self: Give me the faith you had when your eyes shone… Read more »

Supratik

This small beautifully written piece is power packed with word play and images. The lines have an instant connect with readers, across boundaries. Well done. 10/10 from an Indian editor.

Jolen

Cher Loup: Sometimes, we of the old soul sector feel the wheel turnings more acutely. I believe that to be true of you, my dear. Your photo is a fitting accompaniment to this piece. Anyway, your introspective piece points out the truth, imo. We are often gifted with the wisdom too late in life to use the power we had in our youth well. Your last line is particularly poignant and for myself, I can say that I hope the me behind these old eyes is a combination of both, adult and child in some semblance of balance. I cannot… Read more »

Flag Content