Fate and Fatima


It requires someone with balls to defy the Sultan but none of the chaps around here are up to the task. He made sure that they didn’t have any ideas of consorting with his wives and concubines by castrating the lot.

I have managed to escape the eunuchs’ fate by a clever ruse. I smuggled myself into the harem dressed as a woman so ugly that he wouldn’t have dreamed of making a pass at an old hag like me. The challenge of entering the inner sanctum was irresistible.

He employed me as a servant to look after the needs of one of his concubines, a pretty young thing named Fatima.

I soon spotted her ‘needs’ when I saw a vibrator by her bedside. Noticing my quizzical look, she explained:

“We all are on a fixed rota waiting for the Sultan’s summon and I can’t wait 365 days for my turn”

“This is a substitute”, she sighed, “I wish I could have a real one!”

Obviously, it was my duty to be of service to this damsel in distress.

“Your wish is my command, my lady”, I said and watched her delighted face when I showed her what was on offer.


© Luigi Pagano 2021

© ionicus 2023
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One word, Luigi: Naughty!
(But I like it!)


Cheeky little number, good bit of fun to start the day.

For a moment I thought this was going in this direction, happy it did not:

Anis al-Doleh, The Princess With Moustache. 13 Men Committed Suicide Because She Rejected Them


Insider dealing it seems.


Thanks, Luigi.

like cheese, I’m pretty sure some of my writing stinks at times 🙂


The first paragraph is a perfect example of the right way to open a story, Luigi. Scene-setting and funny in less than thirty words.


That opening para reminds me of Anthony Burgesses Earthly Powers. Brilliant!


Absolutely. I read that book many times, but it was an awful long time ago, but I’ve never forgotten that opening line 🙂


Sorry I’m late with my own praise (I blame cognitive absence); this is another great story, with a delightful ending…naughty but nice!


I agree Luigi, it has at least got me going (as the Kinks would have it). BTW, I’m just signing my comments with Dougie – all those multiple identities! I wouldn’t mind, but they are now arguing with me! Strange……………………

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