Lonely
No one there to hold his hand
Or say kind words to ease
Those last precious moments on earth.
When his brain disconnected his eyes
And slowly turned its attention instead
To approaching timelessness…
For the time in-between those States,
We, the lonely left behind, wonder –
Incessantly – if he was frightened
Or fearful, and how long he lay there
Waiting… waiting…waiting…
On Life’s most lonely platform
For that one predestined train?
© griffonner 2023
Views: 582
well-structured poem, very careful, you must have been very focused or when talking about this train you are
It was inspired by the recent loss of my Father-in-Law, but I feel it would stand even without that connection. Just one of the autonomous writes, really. I remember thanking my inspiration when I wrote it. Thank you so much for reading and commenting.
Allen
A moment captured well
Thank you.
*gratefully*
Allen
Fabulous! I could go on at length by dissecting the poem, the inherent pain, mystery and truth in every line but I think you know already that I resonate with it all.
Skillful and moving.
Alison x
I wrote a poem once about such a train. I said if memory serves me well, that our loved ones got off at an earlier junction and will be waiting on the platform when our train comes in. xx
The allegory all fits, doesn’t it: The waiting platform; the train to take you on a defined course, and so on? Trains seem to be a recurring theme in this subject, don’t they. I wonder why? It was even used in the American TV series “The Good Place” as a means for souls to travel great distances in the ‘afterlife’. As if!
Again, I thank you Alison for taking the time to read this and for your meaningful comment.
Allen x
The first time I read it, I thought of someone with their head on the rails – waiting; but that say’s more about me, than about the poem. Now I’ve absorbed it more and yes; waiting for that predestined train; and above anything, above all our needs, there is only the one question left to ask: what happens to us when we are dead?
Is it Larkins death ship with its black silent wake?
Thank Griff – a superb work.
Dougie
Head on the rails waiting! I feel like that sometimes dealing with bureaucracy! What happens? So far in my life I have not found a single person who can authoritatively give an answer to this! I think – like rolling stones (or snowballs) – we gather moss and snow on the way to the event, and formulate our own ideas, don’t you? Coincidentally, my wife and I watched the first part of the ‘netflix’ series ‘Surviving Death’ last night: I suppose it was thoughtfully presented, though for us there was nothing in it we haven’t read or heard about elsewhere… Read more »