I Had Hoped….

 


I hoovered all the floors

today, just in case you came

I didn’t really think you would,

but did it all the same.

 

The polish and the duster

made every surface bright

I didn’t really think you’d come,

but hoped that you just might.

 

I set the kettle on the stove to

whistle out its song

and checked the biscuits in the tin,

in case you came along.

 

But now the day is almost done 

dark shadows carve the wall,

and though I rather hoped you would,

you didn’t come to call.

© sweetwater 2021
UKA Editor's Pick!
Views: 381
critique and comments welcome.
Subscribe
Notify of
18 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Ifyouplease

sometimes I think the dead relatives/pets visit us regularly or more often than the living, but what will become of us if memories of alive and dead creatures visit our minds more than normal? why should we remain constantly focused on any kind of visit or impression of a visit? the hoover the biscuits the tea shouldn’t wait for anyone, they are for us. And our visitors whenever they show up should know it, that this person always hoovers always has biscuits and tea ready, always is dressed well, always is freshly clean because he or she is not focused… Read more »

Last edited 3 months ago by ifyouplease
Griffonner

Nicely constructed, sweetwater. It scanned well. It told it’s story.
I’m not sure if it was written in sorrow or with a soupcon of whimsy, it would work both ways I feel.
Congratulations on the pick.
Allen

Stormwolf

This is a delightfully simple poem. That is its strength. It is meticulously timed bringing the reader along effortlessly. The light-heartedness on first glance hides an inner pain. The warmth of the arrival waiting is heartbreaking seeing as it never came to fruition. There is no fancy wording, no drama….again to my mind in this poem a strength. The whistling kettle, the biscuits in the tin…show a kind caring heart. The last stanza speaks of a gradual darkening of the spirit as “dark shadows carve the wall” The last two lines speak of a certain resigned disappointment that hides the… Read more »

Stormwolf

Thank you Sue. It has been the worst pain I have ever known. Those days are gone now, never to return. That was 6 years ago. The loss is indescribable.

I never speak about it but I did today.
xxx

Gee

My door has always been open and I understand the thought of getting the place ready in case of visitors. I like the welcoming idea of having tea and biscuits there to make people welcome. It does end on a wistful note but also the hope that the visitors will come tomorrow. It’s beautifully done and definitely deserving the nib. So lovely to read.
Gee xx

Bhi

The anticipation of arrival! beautifully formed poem.

I was reminded of Waiting for Godot.

Flag Content