Ashamed to death
I’m ashamed to be born
as a human being,
doubly ashamed to be born
as a man, I wouldn’t choose
to end my life,
but I’m waiting to die.
© supratik 2023
Views: 1033
I’m ashamed to be born
as a human being,
doubly ashamed to be born
as a man, I wouldn’t choose
to end my life,
but I’m waiting to die.
I think your poem aptly describes the angst of many a man, Supratik. I have an understanding of your words (that I accept might not be the one in your mind) and it causes me to suggest that there are women too who might to drawn to feel this way. Also, I consider that in a way it is a ‘get out’ notion, if you will: Does the chaos ‘we’ have brought, not deserve rehabilitative efforts to rectify and heal it? Or, do we leave the mess for eons, writhing in pain, waiting for someone, something, to come along and… Read more »
Good observation. I don’t judge, not even those who do. Thank you.
I wasn’t judging you, Supratik. If I was judging anybody it was myself! As we are all part of the whole then we all share in the guilt, shame and depression of the history of misdeeds. So I fully understand where you thoughts are coming from, and I defend your right to have your own thoughts and feelings. I do feel, myself, as a comment in contrast, that there is another part of the whole who do good deeds, have good thoughts, help others, practice giving love (to themselves and others.) Our media delights in telling us of negativity; telling… Read more »
Thank you. Yes, losing balance doesn’t help. I don’t know what does. If all kinds of worthless growth and development comes to a complete halt, if people get locked up in their confined place somehow, and still see the stars rising in the sky, the flora and the fauna flourishing will then people have a room for some introspection.
I’m a bit puzzled by this piece, supratik. Why should you – or anyone else – be ashamed of being a human being or man? Even the world’s worst characters such as Hitler, Mobutu, Pol Pot, Stalin, Idi Amin and Mugabe didn’t decry themselves, so artistic people like yourself are an antidote to evil.
What would you sooner be born as? You’ve got infinitely more chance of making your mark on Earth as you are, rather than as a tigress or ewe etc.
Best wishes,
Steve
But I am ashamed, Steve. I’m sure I have my reasons, but human beings are the most notorious monsters on earth that need to perish as a species. Looking at violations of a nonagenarian and a six month baby, I am ashamed of my gender and wish that women of the world cut their vagina to end giving births to terrorists, rapists, war mongers. Human beings are the worst of all evolutionary processes. Only a sense of shame, utter shame and guilt could perhaps deliver us as a race, but the irony is we are still proud to be a… Read more »
I think it’s time when the subjugated gender should sacrifice their organs or sterilized themselves to prevent the earth from being poisoned further; it’s also time for the farmers to stop ploughing in order to end exploitation and vulgar growth once and for all. I don’t have any hope in resurrection and transformation. We have misused the consciousness that differentiates us from all other sentient beings, we are conscious on the outside alone, we don’t seem to be conscious on the inside.
well I don’t think that such a sacrifice will help women etc or the planet. we Greeks have a saying: the devil has many feet. you don’t want to ever read a single passage from a book talking about the Inquisition and the things they did to both males and females. or what evil Amazons did when they raided villages to young girls. females are able to be equally disgusting. for example [ ……..wrote a couple of examples but deleted them for the sake of hope ] evil is not a matter of our gender. it’s genderless.. that’s why it… Read more »
It truly is that bad. The sad part is that we don’t realise it. We are different from all other sentient beings because of consciousness, but we have exploited it the wrong way, to seize or capture the outside, not to conquer the inside. I would have loved to be proud of being a human being, but I am not, no, I am sorry, I would have been proud to be a man, no, I am not; I don’t have any hope left apart from correcting myself, that’s all. In people, in the civilised, uncivilised worlds, in humankind, I don’t… Read more »
first of all nobody can provide solid proof that this is the only world so a big IF emerges, If there are other worlds they could be better than this one or worse, at least some of them could be either. If this is the only world then evil things happen and as time goes by all sentient beings eventually confront, live, experience or commit something evil. I’ve experienced some pretty bad things, the last thing I would ever feel is shame, but yeah shame on the individuals that abused a child and one of them beat me too so… Read more »
We are trying to help each other by sharing opposite points of view in terms of our response to the atrocities that surround the world. I say opposite because I don’t think rage can help, I have gone through many grueling exercises to control my rage, rage is of no use, in my opinion, the opposite of mercy, it is twice cursed. My response to be born as a human being and as a man is utter shame. I feel like Sita, asking the mother-world to divide so I can bury myself in her lap for good.
This is a difficult one for me. The atavistic nature of human beings tends towards cruelty and darkness, but the veil of civility which is imprinted onto us from birth tempers that, allows us to appreciate, to love, to create and much more. The answer is not to kill ourselves but to attune ourselves to the needs of others and also the ecosystem of which the earth is a part. We need to inspire and be inspired.
Bhi
Thank you for your response. The poem didn’t propose to kill anyone, it’s a truthful confession which makes the writer utterly shameful of being born as a human being and as a man. I am not totally against civilisation, but I don’t have any confidence in civilisation anymore. Sorry. I think it answers your question of the veil of civility, which, in my opinion, has caused damage to the world and to the writer, hence the need to unveil and be truthful is urgent. I think there needs to be a movement where women would stop breeding and farmers ploughing.… Read more »
There’s no need to be embarrassed; It is I who should be embarrassed that my intellect is not sufficient to unravel your poem. My mistake to say” kill ourselves”; my intention was that we should not wait for or welcome death, but rather agitate to break down what is wrong and build what is right.
No, we cannot change anything. We simply cannot. What you say makes for a good writing. For years and years we have been only writing on how to change things, but while doing we are a big zero, let’s face it. We need to be ashamed of ever coming into this world and ruining every bit of its sublimity, abundance, affection, unconditional love. Look at the way a leaf is made, with such symmetry and brilliance, look at the way a dawn breaks, dew drops, and look at the way a three-month old child gets raped, a nine year old,… Read more »
Hmm – no need to be ashamed – unless you are complicit in mans misdoings. These are a spur to rise above and seek after righteousness.
Rick
Of course, I am, of course I am. I know I am, just because I know I am doesn’t make me a better person than those who don’t know, do you understand it? But for heaven’s sake don’t make it trivial by saying no need to feel ashamed, let’s move on kind of think. I think it’s better not to say anything rather than saying something banal. Of course, I have reasons to feel ashamed, if there’s no shame, no atonement, no change is possible. I’d like to stop concerning with you on this. I don’t want to talk to… Read more »
It’s okay Rick.
I feel your pain…and hopelessness.
It is such a private thing that,once expressed, conjures up all sorts of different feelings in the readers.
I am a woman but I also find it very hard to be here now. There is a great sickness permeating humanity and it’s got nothing to do with any virus.
Alison x
Thank you. No change is possible without a feeling of overwhelming shame. Rage certainly doesn’t help, shame does. However, this is how I think. I would like to correct myself if I see rage, or the idea of revenge is able to bring about any ‘real’ change in the way we think. Our behavior changed for a while (through repentance, guilt, and shame) when we saw the man bleeding and being crucified to death and yet seeking forgiveness for the ones who were killing him in public.