Battle

 

      Battle - Stormwolf

One from my archives. I did several onto pictures for a change of presentation.

 

© stormwolf 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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Ifyouplease

deals are made that’s for sure, but one can break them when he is up and around, fully awake no longer immersed in pit of night (huge subject, I call them ‘astral deals’ that must be revoked.)

when we wake tired due to these fights it is this hope that makes us stand on our two feet, again.

loved it of course

xx

Griffonner

An excellent poem, Alison. I like Nic’s ‘Astral Deals’ because that’s what ‘before the waking light‘ might be (as I’m sure you’re aware!) It is a monstrous shame that our duality (or more) is shielded one from the other – except to those who may be blessed with eyes to see more than just the physical.
Your poem manages to encompass the suffering and struggling which some find themselves constantly experiencing enduring on the pathway to enlightenment(?)
Blessings and love,
Allen x

Fitbin

Yes, all existence is some form of battle against oblivion. I like the phrasing and structure.

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Wow! I really like this one, Alison. It’s great to see you branching out into rhyme. I don’t think you have many rhyming poems, do you? This poem also shows an excellent grasp of meter. It wobbles a bit with “forlorn” (wrong syllable stressed), and personally I would say “luckless” or something like that, stressing the first syllable. But overall, very good. Wonderful. Lines 5 to 10 are almost a Burns stanza, a standard habbie. Did you have your countryman in mind when you wrote them? I feel there should be a rhyme for “war”, and was expecting it to… Read more »

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