The Rain Came In.
A poem
The rain came in laughing,
splashing from leaf to
shimmering leaf, giggling
as gutters splutter to catch
their breath.
Each droplet chattering,
dancing on branches
dipping beneath the weight
of a thousand sparkling eyes,
blinking across a slowly
rising dawn.
© sweetwater 2020
Views: 171
Sue! Wonderful to see you here. I missed your poetry. I don’t know if you meant to put this under non fiction instead of poetry. I almost missed it. I have just nipped on to leave a comment. I have other work to respond to but will leave it till the morning. 😉 This poem is exquisite. Stamped all over with your individual style. It brings a smile to my face.:-) Firstly because I love rain and secondly due to it being such a cheery lighthearted poem. I love to think of the effervescence portrayed here. The rain has a… Read more »
Thank you so much for such a wonderful comment stormwolf, It has made my day. I am having such trouble accessing this site, I’ve only been able to get logged in these last few days, ever since new UKA was up and running I have been trying to get in but no matter what I did I just could not get my log in accepted. Even now I can’t get parts of it, no homepage at all. As for the non fiction appearance, it was doing that before and Richard had to put the work into poetry himself, hoped it… Read more »
If you get stuck again send me a message and I will try to help. There are teething problems that will right in time. I had two pics on my poem and nothing would get rid of them but when Richard checked, there was only one but on my end there were two plus my lines were all over the place!
I cannot explain it but it will sort itself once we get back in the swing of things. Never allow that sort of thing to stop you posting. x
That’s very kind of you thank you, my family were here today and my son in law has sorted me out a new iPad on contract so I’m hoping things on the site will be easier to navigate, it’s not really possible to sort things out on a tiny phone screen. Once the iPad is up and running I will post again and see what happens, if my work still goes in the wrong section I will message you for help 🙂 xx
A lovely cadence of sound and every which way movement of light in your choice of words and images, Sue. Always a close observer of nature, in this poem you capture the soul cleansing relief of a drenching rainfall at the start of a new day. I’m sensing a slow, healing acceptance and a dawning hope for a deeply bruised heart as time passes and life goes on. I hope I’m right. Good to see you back. 🙂 Shelagh aka bel xx
Thank you very much, I really appreciate your comment.
I am slowly beginning to feel that the need to write is coming through again at last.
It’s good to be here again. Sue xx
There is a strong sonorous quality to this poem, which I like. Rhymes, alliteration, assonance. For example ‘dance’ and ‘branch’ and then ‘dipping beneath’. Very pleasing to the ear.
I think ‘splutter’ should be in the past tense, because you begin in the past with ‘came’.
Thank you Pravda, I’m pleased you enjoyed it. Thank you too for the suggestion to change ‘splutter’ I hadn’t spotted that and will amend now. Sue
Lovely!
Allen
x
Thank you very much 🙂