The Lost One.

 

Shade blackened copse.

Beyond the eye a shadow,

ink dark,

searching,

twining and caressing

sinuous and pressing

every bough embrace,

a fleeting breath

softly held

acknowledging….

Unknowing.

Unfound,

lost.

 

© sweetwater 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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Guaj

This is interesting. I like the gaunt structure of this piece almost like the object you are writing about. It creates a good, but cold atmosphere. I hope this is what you are aiming for. I have a feeling it may be about depression or indecision.

Omecronon12

I’d better agree with gosh (just kidding). A standard poem the way I’ve learned your writing and as such it has the economy with words, mindfully depicting and leaving a rather great deal for the reader. Great Work!!

Gee

That acknowledgement that they’re no longer there is awful. Lost describes that feeling perfectly. There are times in the morning that I forget and reach down my hand to touch Ben, and that feeling of loss is there again. Take your time to grieve. It’s hard to be without that companionship.

Supratik

Nice craft here. Beautiful flow, a lasting one.
Supratik

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