Profit

Profit

In a hungry business world
Where profit is the buzz word
The keyword, the password,
Where it is the only intention
Cooking caprice and corruption,
Famished climbers and cannibals
Are bound to crawl
Creep into the golden garden
Tear the innocuous ivy walls
Mar the charming creek
And gray the kingdom of heaven.

© supratik 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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Mitch

Namaste! A good piece but “Cooking caprice and corruption” does not work though you are using alliteration, Try “Cooking the books and corruption” or “callousness and corruption” for example – and use “stain” instead of ‘grey’ in the last line as a person paint can something grey but stain implies discolaration of both physical things and a corruption of the soul. Mitch

Mitch

Sorry about that. Shi’w mae instead! 🙂 I hope the comments helped. You write some amazing pieces and always a pleasure to read.

Mitch

Sut rydych chi? How are you doing?

After reading the exchange of comments I might as well say that namaste was something I used to think it was a greek word which made me curious as to why so many people were suddenly using it. I’ve used it, because in the back of my mind it means “let’s be (ok, fine with that, cool) in the future too” that’s how I perceived this word which sounds like na imaste. to be plural. Then I googled it –just in case– and it was the umpteenth time I was embarrassed on this English speaking world wide web about words… Read more »

Ifyouplease

of course, thank you too

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