In a hungry business world
Where profit is the buzz word
The keyword, the password,
Where it is the only intention
Cooking caprice and corruption,
Famished climbers and cannibals
Are bound to crawl
Creep into the golden garden
Tear the innocuous ivy walls
Mar the charming creek
And gray the kingdom of heaven.
© supratik 2023
Namaste! A good piece but “Cooking caprice and corruption” does not work though you are using alliteration, Try “Cooking the books and corruption” or “callousness and corruption” for example – and use “stain” instead of ‘grey’ in the last line as a person paint can something grey but stain implies discolaration of both physical things and a corruption of the soul. Mitch
Thank you Mitch for stopping by. This namaste somehow doesn’t work for me… I think I’d explained why in my earlier responses.
As for the suggestions… well taken!
You have a great day!
Sorry about that. Shi’w mae instead! 🙂 I hope the comments helped. You write some amazing pieces and always a pleasure to read.
Sut rydych chi? How are you doing?
Please don’t say sorry because namaste is a good word.
Thank you. How are you. Please keep posting your helpful comments. Let me also read yours. Cheers!
Thank you Mitch.
After reading the exchange of comments I might as well say that namaste was something I used to think it was a greek word which made me curious as to why so many people were suddenly using it. I’ve used it, because in the back of my mind it means “let’s be (ok, fine with that, cool) in the future too” that’s how I perceived this word which sounds like na imaste. to be plural. Then I googled it –just in case– and it was the umpteenth time I was embarrassed on this English speaking world wide web about words… Read more »
Thanks I don’t disapprove of them either, but I want to keep it less perfect, more supratik. Let us stop this discussion or I might be prompted to use no comments. Thank you very much.
of course, thank you too
I want readers to read the lines, not molest them or make them appear what they are not.