I Climb

Gratitude for the insightful suggestions of If You Please.


I climb up steps in early spring,
Mother awaits and folds my tears away,
The world is already too much.
If there’s a sound, it would be a robin song,
The air still except for a securing breeze;
Nothing changes shape nor turns away.
I am still in full possession
And worthy in and of myself.
The first person pronoun
has not yet slipped.
What light is visible only on the highest bridge,
And then only very late on moonless nights?
What compels us to cross that span?
Stripped of a name and trailing purity:
Ceaselessly intersecting, ill-fated lives.

© ross 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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Ifyouplease

well….

I climb up steps in early spring,
Mother awaits, folds my tears away,
This world is already too much.
If there’s a sound, it’d be robin song,
The air still except for a forgiving breeze;
Nothing changes shape, turns away.
I’m still in full possession
and worthy in and of myself.
The first person pronoun
has not yet slipped.

What’s visible at most on highest bridges
Only very late on moonless nights?
What sends us out over that span?
Stripped of a name and trailing purity:
Ceaselessly intersecting damaged lives.

Ifyouplease

great potential here
hope my edit below will help you somehow.

just saw your reply and your intro, glad to be of use.

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