Tears Sea

You have a desire to swim in ‘Tears Sea’,

Which is the deepest realm with one rare key

Through my heart and your normal love to me.

Your aspiration, I shall, denying uncertainty, praise,

And take role to raise love’s brightest blaze;

Where darkness and insecure silence creep,

Acquainted with agony and heart everlasting sleep.

There, near death tranquility, you may swim bare,

Full of life as a red loving rose with no shame

In my heart which isn’t familiar to my human name.

only my dreamless passion and feelings may stare,

and celebrate your closeness in middle of nowhere,

I know not lily love paths, nor enthusiastic to know,

Bitter questions grope for answers and bitterly go,

a meaningless creature and soul in built- in mould float,

chew words, smile and perfectly perform what is taught,

dream, live and love in bed. Dead alive in ‘Tears Sea’,

© jamalbbd 2023
Views: 1768
critique and comments welcome.
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I like the second half of this. From, ‘In my heart…’. I’m not sure I understand the first half entirely (which may be my problem). Some good imagery in second half. I like ” I know not lily love paths, nor enthusiastic to know, “.

Rachel 🙂


Although I get the gist, this poem reads like a translation or as having been written by someone who is not native of this island. There are some good ideas in it but they don’t come across very clearly. The structure is faulty; there is a need to express those thoughts in meaningful and grammatical sentences.
Being a foreigner myself I know how difficult writing in English is and hope that my advice might be of some help.
Best wishes, Luigi

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