Two poems about houses. I wrote the first about an old house and was then challenged to write one about new houses.
North wind rapping at my door
Hammering at the shutters
Whirling, whistling through the floor
As the chimney stutters
Blowing from the fiery hearth
Windows at a rattle,
Hearth and home or wind and weather
Which will win this battle?
Battle’s over; house stands firm
But nothing is forever
It relaxes term on term
To the wind and weather
In the end, who’ll win the day?
Mother Nature makes her way,
Mordant. Killing. Acid.
Well-fitted doors, soft-creaking floors
Pitter-pat of window rain
Light as angel’s tapping.
Dry and still the stagnant air,
Giant screen, the cornered troll,
Illuminates the nation.
Sat outside, the family car
Four by four or normal
On the drive where guests arrive
Never, never formal.
Peace and calm. Tranquillity,
Only broken by the beat
A thumping adumbration
Shrieking voices, clacking heels
Music – loud, insistent
Penetrating through the walls
Hi griff I really enjoyed the two poems but thought the opening in both were a little weak compared to the final Stanzas so if I could be so bold as to ask you to consider the hybrid below where the house starts young and grows old. Just a thought, your poems work well on their own but I thought it might be fun to try this. Hope you don’t mind. Best Keith Peace and calm. Tranquillity, Cosseted salvation. Only broken by the beat A thumping adumbration Shrieking voices, clacking heels Music – loud, insistent Penetrating through the walls Thickness… Read more »
Thanks very much. I’ll give this some thought and get back to you
Loved the flow and rhythm of both they read very well.
I had sympathies for both houses, but I think the first one pulls me in the most, comfortable, settled and friendly more character.
The second although beautifully modern and comfortable, as with all modern houses it’s soulless, very low in character, and as you cleverly ended with,
paper thin walls. Sue.
Yes, the first is full of images and ‘feel’ , written from inspiration- I guess the second was the result of the challenge and does not have the same depth.