Poem Bee

An old huitain, revised

She swoops into a clover field
imbibing nectar from the yield
to bring the buzz back to my muse.
In labyrinths, her job’s concealed,
while jamming cells, so I can wield
my wings. I’ll savour scones that ooze
with honey, mead to make this toast —
to hiving my redundant ghost.

© capricorn 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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Short and beautiful Eira, I love bees too, especially the unassuming bumble. I’m afraid it’s going to be an ant and wasp year, here this year, not so inspiring! But this leaves the taste of honey after reading, Nature at her sweetest, and much enjoyed.


No, without you saying so, Eira, I don’t think I would have seen it as a metaphor, more another of Nature’s less ambiguous inspirational sources, But, I do admit now, on re-reading and revisiting the title, it is quite plain to see what you call your ‘poem bee’ has for function; I just needing pointing into the right mind-set!. With that, many will immediately see your intended meaning now. Lol, especially the opportunists! Hahaha! Well, if corrupted, debased comments with my signature still attached had remained, shut out from remedy, I was one click away (delete permanently) from honouring my… Read more »


Love this Eira a real treat for the senses, subtle rhymes and a great end line. Nice job Keith


I love the image of scones oozing with honey ‘yes please’, 🙂 Sue.


How I wish I could do work like this. Your piece is so very lovely and lyrical.


 <span title="Experienced Commenter" style="font-size : small; color: orange;">**</span><p>

We need more huitains – and structured and rhyming verse in general – on the site…

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