It’s nothing you will ever do yourself.
No operation can be more involuntary.
Others certainly will do it with no mercy
ruthlessly and without anesthetic,
and no physical infliction can do greater harm
and hurt you deeper with more lasting scars for life.
It may be just an accident bereaving you of your beloved,
some political disorder cutting off your roots, exiling you for life,
the importuning of authorities and some bureaucracy
that turns you out of home in violation of your human rights
or maybe just a treason by your closest friend.
No wound is harder to survive, more difficult to treat
and more impossible to dress.
You’ll simply bleed to death forever.
© lailaroth 2023
lailaroth, there is much that is good about this, but as you’ve invited critique and comments, may I offer some thoughts? I think the two photos are spoiling the look of the poem and interfering with the layout. I assume the pic has some significance for you, but to the reader the connection is less obvious. I’m not sure why you would have the same photo twice? Perhaps I’m missing something … I think the poem itself would benefit from some pruning. I have a strong sense of what you are saying here – and can relate closely to it… Read more »
I agree with Elftone’s comments. I thought that the 2 photo’s were a mistake, but do find them distracting. I feel you have the basis of a very good poem here, just needs pruning back. Good luck!
Sorry, it’s a technical glitch. It’s really disturbing. I don’t know how it got there. I always have technical problems, I keep forgetting and losing my passwords all the time, but I never had a problem like this before. I have tried to fix it by editing, but it just doesn’t allow any edit. Very sorry. Unfortunately it’s universal with internet, that when you do, or something goes wrong, you’ll never know what you did wrong, and no one can tell you.
I think I fixed it now. I deleted the picture and re-inserted it. That was the only way.
I like the construction of this piece, Lailaroth. I think your words come from the heart. ‘…just a treason by your closest friend‘ is impossible to treat or dress you so rightly say. Once trust is lost, it is impossible to regain, don’t you agree?