“Your Dark Mistress”

I’m part of a little group of creative writers – all ages and abilities welcomed – anyhow the homework for next Tuesday is to write a sonnet.  I much prefer free form as find that rhyming schema tend to cramp – anyhow here’s my effort  – hope I don’t have to sit in ‘stupid corner’  


You kiss kiss, caress caress caress her,
Think you possess, that flint heart aggressor?
You should pull back the skin and look beneath
Her enigmatic smile, ivory teeth,
Catching the odour of last night’s vodka
Tasting the rancid sweat on her armpits
Check her purse. See those banknotes? Counterfeit.
Spoken with apparent sincerity
Masking a salacious barbarity
Honeyed words, buttered swords, weft on her breath
A siren paean alluring your doom
Deaf to the klaxon’s strident alarums
Madly rushing hot blooded to bed her
Sad, Sucker? You should never have fucked her.
 
[Or the bowdlerised closing line ]
 
Sad, Brother? You should never have loved her.

© coolhermit 2020
Views: 1384
critique and comments welcome.
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Sweetwater

Great word play, I really enjoyed this poem, as I do all of yours, however me being me I unquestionably prefer the last line to be ‘loved her, not ‘++++++’ her. 🙂 Sue.

TheRecluse

Yes old Bowlder was the Victorian Mrs Whitehead! But then, the somewhat crude language use does suit the general highly unromantic feel of the piece, so be a shame to lose it to the abridged version. Yes, the hot-blooded rush, who’s not been guilty of that! Hahaha! Very Chauceresque and descriptive of the Old Blue Boar Inn wench, some choice words that suit the imaging so well. Fun poetry, well-written and enjoyed in a gross way!

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