“The End of an Affair”

reworked tanka


I said, “Don’t love me,

‘we’ can never ever be”.

I said another

held my heart, my hopes, my dreams.

She heard, but Caz did not…’hear’.

 

We had days of fun.

Romping nights of lusting too.

Overshadowed by

that other lover lurking,

behind doors of memory.

 

Caz wanted to ask

if my, “Darling I love you”

whispers were for her

or aimed at the other one.

I could not answer truly.

 

I had no answer

Against insecurity

No reassurance

no unguent, no platitude,

nothing but poignant silence.

 

Through winter evenings

We stared at embers glowing

in our Queenie stove.

Eating buttered toast. Drinking

special recipe mulled wine.

 

With each fond gesture

Met with a trite, “Thanks, Darling.”

And clink of glasses

we played games of ‘make believe’.

Caz, and I, were both victims,

 

Clinging together.

Lost souls.  At best, second best.

Damaged goods, flotsam

Detritus overboard from

ships colliding in the night.

 

Her heart was broken

when I said, “It’s done. No more”.

I stare at embers

now, alone, and wondering.

Wondering and wondering.

 

© coolhermit 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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TheRecluse

Yes, excellent write in your own inimitable style. One for the coming huge cultural festival in Hull?

Griffonner

I enjoyed this, Coolhermit. I think the ending conjurs up the age old conundrum ‘What if?’ We ask that an awful lot in life, I think. Skillfully crafted.

TheRecluse

Log in, click on “You”,at the blue heading line, and release, when the list appears, click on “scheduled” and choose the scheduled piece either “view” or “manage/edit”, you can also go to edit from “view” . after editing don’t forget to “update” and that’s it.

TheRecluse

After “update” you can click on “view post” at the top near the title and see how it will appear when published. Or go via “You” into the list again, choose scheduled and click on “view” instead of “manage/edit” of the piece you want to see.

Wabdadmin

On every page of a submission (this one for instance), look in the right side column at the box called ‘submission details’. If you are the logged in author of the submission, you will see a link to ‘edit submission’.

TheRecluse

Coolhermit needed to find one that was scheduled for publication and edit it, not one that had already been published.

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