Perchance to Dream
Short poem, slightly amended since posting (thanks to Swep)
They found her three days later.
A strange half-smile,
still gentle upon her lips
the one to break the rules.
Her sightless eyes held no clue.
Only her special things around her
whispered of her yearning
© stormwolf 2023
l. 5, “the one to break the rules”
instead of “betrayed” perhaps
“spoke of her yearning” or
“whispered of her yearning”
OMG! Do you know, I read this poem many times and never saw it! Even when asked to attend to that line I still could not see it! 😉 It just goes to show the brain compensates sometimes and tells you what you want to see. I am so glad you pointed it out. It may have stayed like that. Will have to apologise to Val. As for the suggestions for 8th line..perfect! Suggests a gentler scenario in keeping with the subject matter. Thanks so much Swep. Alison x PS to be honest, I am not sure about ‘belong’ I… Read more »
the hidden side of rule breakers: yearning to belong. “belong” seems right to me.
“a half-smile still gentle upon her lips”