Mortality.
Guess I was Just feeling my age. Plus I wanted a practice piece 🙂
Specks of dawn
threw darkening
doubt
about my peace
this morn,
to leave her scars
imprinted
by their calling,
stalling future
breaths:
no more now,
than mortal flecks
upon my window
pane.
And fading there,
all future thoughts
that may
in heart remain.
© sweetwater 2023
Views: 2091
I see a sad lady (19th century) sitting on a window seat, breath on the glass panes, wistful and melancholy.
Well done
Alison x
Hi Alison, thank you, normally I mess about with a poem for days before I am ok with it, but after a few changes this original draft seemed to work best. Plus just lately, as I have mentioned before I am not in the best of places ( still ) no idea why. You have interpreted this perfectly. Sue xx
Hold tight! SO many people not in a good place now. SO much changing vibrationally on a global level, that many are feeling alienated, almost desiring to not be here. ;-(
Keep on getting in touch with your inner poet. It’s so good to write.
Alison xxx
That is exactly how I’m feeling right now, on the one hand I want to leave, on the other I’d be scared to go! Too much change going on right now, on all levels. I’ll just hang on and wait till the levels adjust again. Writing is a good head clearer though 🙂 Thank you for your kind words Alison. Sue xx
Hello young Sue! Far too soon for you to be leaving, the world our the site. So much more to hear from you and your pen. Adversity can bring out the best in our writing, it does in your’s.
Mike
Love the ‘young’ I wish hehe. Thank you Mike I appreciate your kind words 🙂 I ‘ felt’ last Nov/Dec that somehow this year was going to be dark and full of changes that would badly effect me ( not so much health wise) but on a peace of mind level, I can’t bear change, it’s almost impossible for me to come to terms with it, sometimes it takes years. I was right on all levels, and it’s only August! Lol. Then with all this happening on UKAuthors, well last straw and all that. But deep breath, pull my socks… Read more »
Mortality is something that can keep me awake at 3am as I lie in the darkness with just me and my thoughts. I think its an inevitable concern for us all what ever our age. But I see here that even towards the end we still feel young inside and have so much we still want to do or see and yet time will always be holding the better hand. A nice, and slightly dark, ever so slightly dark, poem.
Hi Jay12, many thanks for commenting 🙂 I think youth remains forever, well as long as the person does, I have tons of things I still want to do, some realistic, most totally not but it’s good to dream. I’m hoping for another twenty odd years yet, but one never knows. So I’d best get a move on lol, thank you again. Sue 🙂
A very moving piece, Sue – and I know just how you feel.
Keep writing – it helps.
Eira
Thank you very much Eira, it’s not a good feeling is it? It will pass at some point and I’ll be my happy self again, just wish that point would come a bit quicker though lol. Sue 🙂
Hi Sue. I doubt that you expected the kind of response your poem has evoked. You have certainly hit the spot for many of you followers.Your poem speaks of old age and loneliness, a subject that becomes more relevant to many of us as the tears go by, which most try, I suspect, push to the back of our minds. Well done for bringing out from that dark place. As for UKA? I think many of us have mixed feelings about its new direction, but i feel that we must try to make it work. Don’t give in on this… Read more »
Hi Michael, no I honestly didn’t expect this response, I thought that if anything it would be read and dismissed as badly written drivel from a miserable woman. I am so pleased to find how wrong I was. Thank you so much for your understanding comment, twenty years ago in my early forties I was completely happy to be on my own, but did think someone else would come along at some point, but they never did and although I am still basically a loner it would be nice to have another person to talk to in the evenings. No… Read more »
Sure you will. And I am sure like – Oh’ what’s his name – that you will treat those imposters just the same (Optimism and pessimism)
Michael