Tim’s Cat

  I once knew a locksmith called Timothy whose cat was a lardy behemoth, he scoffed rats till he threw up. I forget where Tim grew up, his accent was Cornish or Plymouthy.   Tim fed his cat minced beef and onion pasties and cider for luncheon. He lapped up that scrumpy then, like Humpty Dumpty, went “wallop!” in drunken

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Racist

  I can make you feel small, racist. So that you’ll have to crawl, racist. I can make you want, after speaking to me, to bash your head on a wall, racist. I don’t care a jot for your figures and facts because I can just bawl, “Racist!” The only fact people need to know is that I’m not at

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UKIP Clerihews, Written by Liberals

  Nigel Farage may well have won the referendum and put this country in charge of its own destiny, but I’m still right and seventeen million people just aren’t very bright.   Raheem Kassam is a white supremacist bigot who wants to do immigrants harm. Oh, hang on… How discouraging… He’s an Indian of Muslim origin…   Paul Nuttall should

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Her Flight

Her dreams soared high like a kite in full flight, Colourful and bright, tail fluttering in delight. Gusts tumbled her, carried her hither, Pulled her thither, swept on in gay abandon.   Winged by wind billowing; now soaring, now diving, Joyously high-fiving, sky and the capricious wind. Doubts made her dance, swoop in an exhilarating twirl, A horizontal pirouette propelling

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All of my Opinions

  Just look at all these privileged white male proletarian imbeciles who can’t use grammar properly! Just listen to their simple squeals about how they don’t want their daughters ravished by a grooming gang! Reactionary as the King of Auschwitz or the Kuomintang! They disregard the gender wage gap! Nobody can stop them from whinging about terrorism like it’s a

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