The Nostalgic Self
someone we all know well, eventually;
an only friend for many. Pic: my own
I see him, tragic man,
on his solitary mission,
reawakening The Meaningful,
last caretaker of a bygone age;
searching for residual testimony
among the threadbare remains
of interwoven life;
realising too late,
the trade-in cost
relieving pain by further loss;
when love objects,
defensively absorbed,
metamorphosed so cruelly,
surrendering all quintessential
to an apathetic subject,
the I, who, though stronger,
became older,
lonelier….. now following
shadows and specters,
instinctively knowing why,
with unpatronizing kindness,
keeping him in sight
is so imperative… I must not
lose this vagabond
pulling at the leash,
for, while I still see him,
I exist.
Goth:2020
I’m envious of how you threw in “unpatronizing kindness” at the exact moment necessary to fully seal this haunting duality. For some reason I prefer “specters” or “spirits” to “ghosts” in the third stanza. I guess it seems more evocative and in keeping with the late nineteenth century from which this theme arose.
Thanks! I suppose some phrases hit right naturally in the formulating mind, others are more forced and usually need revision; and thank you again for impressing on me the importance of carefully choosing each and every word. Whe I go back to a writing with fresh eyes, I often see glaring, but even subtle, examples of weak word choice seen against the whole theme of the piece. I’ll take your advice, by way of own preferences, on board and take more time with this aspect when composing work. I suppose when you say ‘for some reason’ I suppose it’s because… Read more »
Addendum: After reading several times on revisits, I think ‘specters’ is better word than ‘ghosts’ as it’s more about reminders and not about mystical visitations in any way. Thanks for that!