Doting melancholy

As the ghosts crowd in my memories
entangling me in webs of melancholy,
I drown in moods of desperate remorse
and can’t find any way out of my troubles
but to stay there stalwartly and deal with them
and so get through the muddy lot
by simply wading down in it
up to my neck and further,
to be able then to concentrate on you,
my love and inspiration and my source of life,
at least to get some glimpse of any possibility
for any betterment of my condition,
which I can’t find anywhere and nowhere else
than in the possibility of loving you.