Mariangel

Another from by ‘back catalogue’ of experiments; so still in need of some revision. But I quite liked the ending.


 

                                     Mariangel

 

                         With teeth white as milk,

                         and a  complexion fair,

                         the spring sun does now  

                         tint her golden hair;

                         while soon the blush of youth

                         ripens to a comely grace,

                         as all of Springtime’s pleasure

                         she shall willingly embrace,

                         In the gladness of her face.

 

                         Summer days slow pass away,

                         as she enjoys each precious hour

                         reposing in her lovers bower;

                         and as the days slowly extend,

                         in her beauty she finds content,

                         as all that is lovely and fair,

                         justly reflects what is there:

                         fields of new-ripened corn,

                         in the sunshine of her hair.

 

                         It was on an early Autumn day,

                         while she was looking away,

                         at russet leaves now falling;

                         her latest young man’s love,

                         took up his clothes and left,

                         leaving her at once bereft,

                         in her doorway softly crying,

                         as he drove away in his Porsche.

 

                         Now she combs her long white hair,

                         as winter comes in to remind her

                         of all that’s been left behind her;

                         with no regretting or forgetting

                         all of her many former lover’s;

                         and though it may be just as well,

                         she’s finally capped the well,

                         sweet lilies still grow around it.

 

                                                       D G Moody

© Dodgem 2021
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critique and comments welcome.
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Bhi

D, you now have me checking the punctuation rather than reading the poem!

“lovers” should be “lover’s” or lovers'”

The aging with the seasons comes across well, but I felt this was a very masculine perspective and the ending, while humorous, did not do justice to a woman whose beauty has been used yet who bears no spite.

Sweetwater

I have read this several times and feel I understand her more with
each reading, to look back on such a life with pleasure and feel no regrets is more than many of us can do.
No need to cap the well, she will still have a lot to give, as testified by
the lilies. Sue.

Griffonner

Very powerful stuff. I especially liked the phrasing of the first stanza which reminded me of the work of Laurence Hope – don’t ask me to explain why, it just did. The whole of it though, had the fingerprint of your careful understanding of the human condition. Really appreciated reading this.

Allen

Griffonner

It is a bygone age, but she has the power to make my mind transcend time. She wrote so much about love, but what a tragic ending to such a gem of a life, I feel.

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