hiraeth (tanka)

hiraeth
 
often, from nowhere,
an unsettling nostalgia
takes me unawares
for somewhere I’ve never been
and ‘the one’ I may meet there.
 
set off by a scent
or a half-heard snatch of song
or a smiling face
in a random photograph
or glimpsed from a passing bus.
 
on an evening train
bright-lit windows of houses
beside the railway
flashing past, draw out envy –
o god I wish I lived there
 
Christmas time is worst,
seasons greetings? what’s the point?
I walk streets alone,
(don’t want to get home early)
eyes glancing curiously
 
through crisp lace curtains
at gifts heaped beneath the tree.
a telly playing
to an empty chesterfield,
I wonder who will sit there
 
after dinner-time
pots washed, settling down to watch
Coronation Street
then the little ones to bed
they’ll only spoil the ‘Bond’ film.
 
my life needs warming,
I want to hold a lover’s hand,
one who’ll kiss my cheek
because she loves me and I’ll
buy flowers and chocolates.
 
I’ll love you, sweetie
I’ll make our lives magical
I’ll change the nappies
I’ll sleep in the wet patches
I’ll let you hog the duvet
 
come soon, the waiting is crippling.
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