East Hull Christmas Picked
East Hull Christmas
my time with Tessa was pretty much up
I felt it in my water,
sex had dwindled
from a summer of no holds barred
to an autumn of no holds – full stop
so when Tess asked
if I’d be her school Santa –
I figured, I’d misread the runes
and told myself I had a chance
I do not ‘do’ Christmas
for the usual reasons
but reckoned if I played my part
in the celebrations
my parts might get played with too
I spent September to December
in bedroom exile
laying awake wondering
what I’d done wrong
‘look on the bright side, matey,
at least you’ve got the door key’
Father Christmas day:
the school secretary
passed me a bin liner
stuffed with Santa Claus regalia –
opened a broom cupboard,
‘get changed in there’
a commotion from the corridor
as a 10 year old, as tall as me,
was being restrained on the
Headmaster’s ‘naughty settee’
I belted a cushion around my waist,
put on a sweaty Santa outfit and
over-large black welly boots
with a cotton wool beard stuck on
my transformation was done
I opened the door,
stepped into the corridor
the ‘bad lad’ gasped
his mouth dropped open
he leapt from the sofa
(I feared for my long redundant genitalia)
hugged me like a long-lost father
then scooted away
kicking doors and shouting,
“Father Christmas is here! the real one!”
Tess was not in her class
a harassed ‘supply’ shrugged,
‘she rang in sick this morning’
(I taxied back in my Santa outfit)
Tess had left a note on her door,
‘thanks for today… and everything.
I’m sure my class will love you.
I’ve gone away
leave the key next door’
I never saw Tessa again.
CH, me old mate, what you had done wrong was only think of your needs!
Another enjoyable slice from your nib.
bhi
For once this is a true (ish) account – mine rarely are – I considered myself lucky to be still there at Winterval 🙂
Rick
Its yer own fault for going to East Hull.
yes – the ‘dark side’ should have ‘abandon hope all ye who enter here’ on the street signs 🙂
Finally got around to reading your poems, Rick. I remember this one. All good!