half a lifetime ago

half a lifetime ago
half a lifetime ago
I found god
or god found me
my wife despised the reborn me – 
(we parted in acrimony) 
I chose a pilgrim’s way –
a rough and flinty path
on barefoot bleeding feet
hopped fishing boats
to a northern isle
and found, and lost,
and lost, and found,
myself in solitude
[writing a letter to his wife,
he sighs, he will not send it
but will stow it in a dresser drawer
for a stranger to find]
 “death is approaching
like winter rain
my time is up
no regrets, no blame
life has been good 
in this croft beside the burn
with a family kitchen
(but no one eats with me)
and its glowing stove
and through the window
the view across the bay,
days of spotting otters,
watching seal heads bobbing,
dolphins sporting, 
and gannets feeding
and over-arching
the seabirds’ calling
a cathedral silence
I wish you had been here
sitting in grey-haired warmth with me
sharing years of memories
I wonder where you are?”
I wonder where we ever are.

© coolhermit 2023
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critique and comments welcome.
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This is a haunting poem, poignant and at the ending full of loss. When you say “no regrets” that is strictly not true, otherwise you would not wish to want to share the memories. But that is just my reading.


I love this poem of yours, Coolhermit. It is very emotive.

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