Midnight howls and we wake aroused,

Rain hard on the panes, beat rising,

Stepping into step with our heat,

Strengthened through the day past burning,


flesh melding,

sweated, cooling now

A blanket for the night ahead.

© Bhi 2023
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critique and comments welcome.
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it’s burnt flesh that I have a problem to like in this otherwise perfect poem. bare flesh?


How frustrating. I just wrote a long comment for it all to disappear into the abyss. :/ Hello Bhi, Welcome to Uka. 😉 This is one of those short poems that can leave the reader with a strong sense of meaning. In such a short poem every word counts…There are two bits that do not work for me but others may disagree. That is one of the great things about getting honest feedback. 😉 I get the repetition of the first line and the third are deliberately chosen for effect. However, the wake, wakened does not make too much sense.… Read more »


Hi again 🙂

This was one of those moments when the elements outside and inside of us were aligned in a sublime apotheosis and the poem formed to complement the feelings.

Yes, and you succeeded in that aim. It is a very intimate poem.
Alison x

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