Public Order and Private Dicks

Defective detectives.

I am a keen follower

of formulaic thrillers

the ones where cops

are thwarted by killers

who are far too clever

for the wooden-tops.


The ones which have

a world-weary D.I.

who with the rules

doesn’t always comply

and who proudly boasts

that he is “old school”.


He is also quite fond

of excessive booze

that impairs deduction

and induces snooze.

The binge might cause

erectile dysfunction.


It seems his methods

are much too defective

and that what is wanted

is a private detective

who by the big challenge

will not be daunted.


One hopes the substitute

is not a clever dick

someone like Poirot

who gets on one’s wick

but an unpretentious one

who doesn’t crow.


Although the TV shows

are run-of-the-mill

and not always the best

they give me a thrill

so I watch that drivel

with great interest.


© Luigi Pagano 2020

© ionicus 2023
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Oi! Not so much of the ‘drivel’! Mrs Griffonner is addicted. We have gigabytes of yet unwatched series clogging up our hard drive!
I was never much of a fan myself, but I have been converted – a bit.
I loved your poem, Luigi. It is very witty. I am bound to say that you missed the mandatory “flack from above” though. Tut tut. 😉


Lovely poem with a clever rhyming scheme. What’s wrong with Poirot though? He would be impossible to live with, but still… (and David Suchet has eyes to die for! Swoon!!!)


Luigi Pagano – the master of observational poetry. As entertaining, as usual. 🙂


haha this made me laugh. You do these poems with your dry wit and use of great vocabulary so well. 😉
Alison x

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