Sonata of Solace
image: gomathi
When world goes quiet, seeking solace after the day’s clamour,
There arises a silver orb, serenading the sky in glamour
Softly showering on the lonely planet, its soothing tender light,
Sailing from heaven hailing festive spirit till dawn replaces night.
Revealing vault of heaven’s streamers, studded with nine gems,
Millions of glittering stars with which the huge rondure hems.
Silhouetting nature against night sky, continues with her ride,
Reigning over our mood swings alongwith the ocean’s tide.
Smiles serenely at lovers drenching in her velvety moonlight,
Propels many a dreamy bard on a poesy of romantical flight.
Selena’s beauty echoes through night, in a sheen of silence, flawless,
Eyelids slide into arms of Morpheus, soothed by soprano’s Sonata of Solace.
I got the message, Gomathi, but somehow this poem doesn’t chime for me. It is too elaborate and with too many adjectives. With a bit of pruning it could be made into an excellent ode, in my humble opinion.
Warm regards, as ever. Luigi x
Thankyou so much dear Luigi for reading and letting me know. Your sincere opinion and able guidance is so valuable to me at this stage. Now that I read it again, it IS quite exhaustive. Will trim it down and post again. Look forward to your views. With gratitude and Warm Regards, Gomathi.
PS: Have revised it 🙂
Much improved, dear Gomathi. I find with my own poems that if rhythm and rhyming are maintained , shorter lines can convey sentiments just as well as longer verse if not better. The difficulty, and again I speak from my own experience, is how to refrain from being over enthusiastic.
You are doing well, keep it up.
Luigi x 🙂
Thank you so much Luigi! You are absolutely right when you say the difficult part is how we restrain ourselves and not get carried away with enthusiasm. That is exactly what’s happening with me. Like a child let into a toy shop for the first time..I too feel the same excitement and over enthusiasm as writing poetry is an untrodden path. Your constructive criticism is much needed and will help me a lot in writing. Keep guiding and advising dear Luigi! Grateful. With Warm Regards, Gomathi.
I like the poetry. Gomathi, but I’m afraid that I see moonlight as being somewhat false – in that it is a mere reflection of the Sun (or Ra). But that’s not to take away from your well thought out piece. Blessings, Griff.
Thankyou so much Griff for your wonderful compliments and blessings. Am glad you took out time to read it and like it. Agree with you here, Ra is the be all and end all. But then with poetic license, we do tend to see things a little dreamily, differently, awestruck by all that beauty around us 🙂
Warm Regards, Gomathi.
There is no way I am going to contradict that, Gomathi!
Up the revolution Brothers (and Sisters) Poetic License will reign for ever! 😉
Blessings, Griff.