Clouded Vision.

Response to an article on anxiety.


Coils of smoke

from greying ashes 

swirl about my heels,

 

they pull me down

to shadowed spaces,

tearing at my mind.

 

Will no one take

my flailing hand,

 

prise apart those

fingers clenched,

place light 

upon my palm?

© sweetwater 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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TheRecluse

Oh missed this one of yours earlier, Sue. I suppose you felt a personal connection to the article on anxiety you read, awoke something of concern to you? Like your word choice in this fine poem, especially ‘will no one take my flailing hand’, a calming hand of support and salvation. I thought at first ‘place ‘oil’ upon my palm’ suited anxiety more, calming, as with ‘pouring oil on troubled waters’, where ‘light’ would be more suited to countering the darkness of depression? But, then you’re in ‘shadowy places’ so works well as it is. Fine poem again, enjoyable read.… Read more »

Omecronon12

Beautiful piece. Very well worded and carefully so. Like I wrote in another comment you have some talent I think. You can even become a writer lol 😉

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