an unknown middle-aged woman
an imagiste filler
passing my cafe window
dignified, dressed demurely,
and yet still beautiful
beautiful, and unaware
that behind the misty glass
she is quietly admired
© coolhermit 2023
Views: 1136
an imagiste filler
passing my cafe window
dignified, dressed demurely,
and yet still beautiful
beautiful, and unaware
that behind the misty glass
she is quietly admired
if I were a young man I would never fancy younger women or as young as me, but older than me, I am always surprised to read or hear this ‘she is beautiful still’, why not be beautiful or something of similar appealing value, there is a lot of social discrimination against older women. someone told me one day ” you still look hot for your age” and he actually thought it was a compliment. it’s not. this is a man’s world, unfortunately.
when people reach that certain age they tend to invisibility – the surface glamour /attraction to the lust obsessed has expired and their preceived undesirability can damage their self image – she is beautiful, modest dress, no superficiality – and the woman about whom it is written loves it 🙂
why not:
passing my cafe window
unhurried, dressed modestly,
beautiful, and unaware
that behind the misty glass
she is quietly admired
for getting better with age
or something like that.
getting better with age would kill the poem as it then becomes didactic – I leave that conclusion for the reader to uncover. 🙂
okay, I still don’t think you need the line she is beautiful still, why say it? what’s the purpose, is it or is it not a homage to an unknown beauty who has aged gracefully? we got it. why persist in her age so much?
thank you
The only one mentioning her age ‘so much’ is you 🙂
I do mention her age and would have done it if I were 30 or 20 I would tell you that the title is enough, and that still sounds discriminating, sounds like the male obsession with a woman’s age, how old she is. always this calculating look, that yeah as a woman I’ve seen “she is probably in her thirties/forties/fifties” not that women don’t do it especially when they look at other women. A poet such as you can find a way to avoid such a discrimination the hints are all there but ‘still’ ruins everything worse than what I… Read more »
I’ve no further comment to add 🙂
the title, avoid still, we got the picture, still means something else now because of the title.
if the title was
An unknown woman
then still beautiful would be ok and just a hint.
there are layers of meaning here far more profound than an initial reading. Poetry has to be about causing the reader to think beyond contemporary social trends and mores – thanks for your comments – I have made a couple of amendments – it will go in me next book
Rick