test

an unknown middle-aged woman

an imagiste filler


passing my cafe window

dignified, dressed demurely,

and yet still beautiful

 

beautiful, and unaware

that behind the misty glass

she is quietly admired

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

© coolhermit 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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if I were a young man I would never fancy younger women or as young as me, but older than me, I am always surprised to read or hear this ‘she is beautiful still’, why not be beautiful or something of similar appealing value, there is a lot of social discrimination against older women. someone told me one day ” you still look hot for your age” and he actually thought it was a compliment. it’s not. this is a man’s world, unfortunately.

why not:

passing my cafe window

unhurried, dressed modestly,

beautiful, and unaware

that behind the misty glass

she is quietly admired

for getting better with age

or something like that.

Ifyouplease

okay, I still don’t think you need the line she is beautiful still, why say it? what’s the purpose, is it or is it not a homage to an unknown beauty who has aged gracefully? we got it. why persist in her age so much?

thank you

Ifyouplease

I do mention her age and would have done it if I were 30 or 20 I would tell you that the title is enough, and that still sounds discriminating, sounds like the male obsession with a woman’s age, how old she is. always this calculating look, that yeah as a woman I’ve seen “she is probably in her thirties/forties/fifties” not that women don’t do it especially when they look at other women. A poet such as you can find a way to avoid such a discrimination the hints are all there but ‘still’ ruins everything worse than what I… Read more ยป

the title, avoid still, we got the picture, still means something else now because of the title.
if the title was

An unknown woman

then still beautiful would be ok and just a hint.

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