View Beyond

For the poetry challenge.


Lately, floating clouds are stained
strange madness penetrating,
skies darkness thickening
before billow can change;

lately, rays have no beam
or wink between leaves,
no trace of plume lingers
up in high tops of trees;

lately, swift breath of invisible breeze
now bakes in heat like our earth’s core,
dust now lingers on polluted surface
time accelerated too late for a cure.

Or maybe I’m a feathered ghost
interwoven, with migrating birds,
carried through a ruptured mantle
to where my soul can rest in peace.

Views: 1418
critique and comments welcome.

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Ifyouplease
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I loved it, excellent poem thank you very much for joining and sharing this delicately crafted poem.

Gothicman
Member

Enjoyable, atmospheric poem. (I think you should have commas after each “Lately”, and “interwoven”, semicolon after each verse, and full stop after “cure”?). Yes, a fine write.

Supratik
Member

A well written poem. These days, poems, in terms of form and content are going through a shift from the conventional prescriptions and proscriptions; so we see poems without any punctuation at all.

https://sheilapacka.blogspot.com/2011/08/to-punctuate-or-not.html?m=1

It is guided from the belief of empowering the readers. I think this makes sense to me as an alternative way of looking at writing poems. Well done. Keep writing more on this.

Ifyouplease
Member

Hi Featheredwing, you may have received a pm from Admin on the matter, but I need you to set the next poetry challenge! Do you accept?

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