Cold Light Of Day.
The bleak chill of a grey
dawn glances through
my window, arching mist binds
tree and sky as young leaves
quarrel in an ill-tempered wind.
Stilled now the choir,
as spring’s fresh ardour has
cast aside it’s bright embrace.
© sweetwater 2023
I really like this one, Sue. It has a rich sensory feel to it. My one critical suggestion would be to drop ‘bleak’. Maybe look at the line-breaks (for readability)
Thank you Jim, I’m pleased you like it.
I have changed it round no end of times in the hope I can get it to read better, I think this was the best arrangement I could find.
I agree with you on the ‘bleak’ it was a very bleak looking sky but now you mention it I think ‘grey’ has covered that. Sue. Xx
I always appreciate how you see nature in the way you do. Not an observer only but more a part of it all. Another gem
Thank you Alison, I’m pleased you liked it. Nature is a sanity saver I find. Sue xx