My Way.

 


If I could love you as I wish

I’d count the stars within

your eyes, I’d know the 

contours of your heart,

enfold your every breath.

 

If I could love you as I should

I’d walk the forest mile, cross

all hungered oceans, skim

the wind burnt sky.

 

If I could only love you,

the way I know I can

I’d offer you my very soul

to crush within your hand.

© sweetwater 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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Pommer

Hi Sue, good to see you back once again.What poignant statements there are in this little short poem.So much said in so few words.I love the last verse in particular, expressing my feelings now I have lost the love of my life.Oh yes, I would , gladly give my soul to love her once more..It brought tears to my eyes.Thank you for sharing Sue..PS:. I miss all our old friends from this site. Be lucky, Peter xxx

Gee

Beautiful expression of love and longing here. Some great phrases too.
I think we all need our time to grieve but it can help to express that love and loss when we’re ready. Good to see you back and posting.
Gee

Gee

Just read your comments about the subject of the poem. I read it as being from someone in love with someone completely unattainable. A love lost through sad circumstances.
It is interesting to see how people see different things in it but I think that’s the mark of a really good piece of writing.

Ifyouplease

Socrates sent away just before his execution his wife and children, because he didn’t want grief, unfortunately when he drank the poison his male friends started crying like babies.

he told them to stop, mourning is the worst thing that can happen to a dead person, worse than death.

very interesting poem

Ifyouplease

yes, exactly it is very difficult to deny oneself. for example when my father was dressed wearing the suit he wore in my wedding and was placed in the coffin, i was the only one who started crying, mother and brother followed my instructions and I failed big time. thankfully none of us shed a tear at the funeral. we were sad but above all we were all able to release him. the first days are critical according to all traditions, the more you want them back the less they are able to break free to get out to finally… Read more »

Ifyouplease

I see. The comments made me think that this is a poem about death of a loved one, I read it again because I hadn’t seen such a thing the first time. Then I thought perhaps it is! What could I say that would be freeing? I could mention Socrates. I thought Now you tell me it’s about unrequited love which I’ve never felt. I dont exactly understand if I have felt it too or not to be honest. In my opinion unrequited love is when you decide to make yourself available for erotic interaction too and the other person… Read more »

Ifyouplease

and another thing: people say “oh i have felt unrequited love” but they never said anything to the other person, they never sent a crystal clear message of sexual attraction and romantic tendencies, they never even said it with their eyes. Shy or not they avoided revealing what they felt, this is not unrequited love at all. There is unrequited love which may be persisting too for many years when the message was there, the eyes and lips said it all, the proposal was made, the other person said no for whatever reason but you were still in love still… Read more »

Ifyouplease

as I said to coolhermit, it must be horrible. never felt such a thing. yeah I have been in love when I was a teenager for four years with someone, there was mutual attraction it never became something clear enough, at some point he moved on because he was in search (he was 13 years older I was 17 by then) when he did i understood I was too shy, I wanted him to wait for me until I was an adult too I could boldly say to him then that I want him, next time I have to be… Read more »

Ifyouplease

the sooner the better and the faster you can. 🙂 and no hard feelings by the way.

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