Moonlight Alone.


In softly silvered moonlight

when all but time, lies still

she feels the weight of wanting

fold deep within the night.


As certain as a rippled rill

erodes the fallen years,

ardent burns a heart aflame

as onward flow the tears.

Onward too, abides the love

that constant rides unknown,

to circle round upon itself

and hold the seeds unsown.

© sweetwater 2023
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critique and comments welcome.
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I’ve enjoyed this piece, but couldn’t help reading the first two lines as changed places, it kept the rhyme in sequence for me, but that’s just me…Tony


The first two lines of this beautiful poem I loved. I mean the rest is great, wouldn’t have stopped by to tell you if I didn’t think that, but those first two lines and especially ‘softly silvered moonlight’. That is just what moonlight is. There is a sad feeling about the whole poem but that is no bad thing. Sometimes it is good to read about sad.
Lovely poem which I enjoyed reading very much. Thank you


Captured it perfectly
Alison x


oh I liked it very very much especially the ending.
but I feel that you don’t need ‘the night’

fold deep within.

allow me to pm an idea of mine. thank you too!

In softly silvered moonlight,

when all but time lies still,

the weight of wanting more

she feels, folds deep within.

thank you very very much for your reply
x Nic x

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