Politic

saw a post by nemo to the effect of POST something (not me, anyone, everyone), if not new, something.


Girls sipping wine, dark sky inhaling

Light, the doors to the deck open

So we can hear the crashing surf.

A beach house, the Gulf of Mexico.

Then, Peggy, Rebecca’s roommate

From college, just divorced, visiting…

Pulls out a picture of her

Daughter, Lauren, to share.  I relax,

Am empty, and the girl is lovely.

I may seem to wander, but say

A Zen master recognized success

As a teacher only if his charge

Surpassed him.  Congratulations,

For though you are still a handsome

Woman, this daughter you love

Is beautiful, and has left you behind.

 

© slovitt 2020
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critique and comments welcome.
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Ifyouplease

well-written as always. i disagree with the manners here… backspaced a tiny wall of text. congratulations you said, either intentionally or unintentionally sounds like a sly verbal attack of a smart person to someone the smart person considers dumb. oops the tiny wall a tiny part of it just appeared! just letting you know how i saw this “politic”

Namaste

Ifyouplease

that’s a huge subject …greatest gifts etc children and parents, surpassing etc. but okay as you wish… i will go now…

Sweetwater

I thought this more prose than poetry however it was interesting, I have a somewhat similar reaction to Ifyouplease but not for the same reason, I felt that the last four lines are terribly rude and very insulting to the mother, there is absolutely no actuall achievement in a child becoming more attractive than her mother as she grows into a young woman this is natural and totally irrelevant, and wouldn’t affect their love for each other. There was no triumph to be congratulated whatsoever. If all proud parents showing a friend a family photo were subject to such a… Read more »

Ifyouplease

the same reason, i backspaced, that’s exactly what I was going to say, indeed there was no triumph that’s why it sounded ironic to say congratulations, it’s a strong poem very good for seeing the many differences everywhere and in everything….. usually all meant well.

Ifyouplease

most of us here are here because we really want to communicate and interact with each other and share ideas opinions etc and most of us – certainly me- explain until the reader at least understood that at least we tried to explain.
i turn here is like you turn left -or right- that’s your road did i get it right? you’re welcome
and thank you too

Ifyouplease

it seems i was psychically correct when I, initially, to your I turn here i wanted to simply use one of your poems with the japanese and the two kinds of people… i am not surprised too much. hmm so there is a Japanese element here indeed that’s an interesting opinion one that i must partly agree with, i call it de-poulakidasation αποπουλακιδοποίηση, to shed all the family parasitical characteristics to find out who you really are, and not only, any karmic connections with mother/father figures. stopping the lineage. abandoning your parents. not eager to proliferate the gene pool. Christ… Read more »

Ifyouplease

that’s interesting, me and my parents had created a zen school for amateurs… we called it THE GOAT’S EYE. all you had to do was stare into the eye – left or right -of a goat for half a day. then answer a question. hehehehehehehe

Ifyouplease

no dear-swep, you *points the finger* take the ego of the perceived benign remark to Peggy out of it, there is something fishy about it. you see it as innocuous and at least two people here tell you they saw it as some sort of verbal attack/insult etc. we – at least me – actually tried and will continue to try and justify your right to see it that way, because you probably mean well. we know you here you’re a good poetic soul, surely you didn’t want to attack your friend or your readers, intellectually challenge maybe and when… Read more »

Ifyouplease

no fire, you mean The School (fastest cherry i got on abctales) an Ezine still has it available Tryst it is called with a horrible bio and photo of mine 2003 i think the sun played chess with the broken windows. why do you remember fire? hmm

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