My love is like a jasmine flower,
Dancing in darkness and light
Shaking the fragrance of passion.
In company, with summer
She fondles sweet dreams
Collecting them roses,
Giving them butterfly kisses
My love sleeps in a magical bed,
Woven by blue sky,
Adorned with moons and stars,
And colors of hot rumor,
All hugs her every night,
Collecting her dreams’ smiles,
And plant them in my heart,
Roses of chastity,
Taking me with such a bliss
To the land of freedom and light.
© jamalbbd 2023
Again I really like much of this. Some nice imagery. The repeat of roses (perhaps too cliched anyway) and ‘hug’ grates with me. However, love poetry is not really my thing so perhaps this is why. But I think with a little pruning here and there, this could be lovelier.
thanks for the advice. I truly appreciate every word of it.thanks again.
I like the way you read me. thanks.