Stranded In Crewe
That hot spell wasn’t here long but it was a scorcher. Not a sun lover myself but many people are so hence this poem.
They called it a heatwave
and yes it was very hot,
yet it only lasted a week
so that’s all we got.
But you struggled to sleep
sweating just lying in bed,
as the temperature soared
leaving your face bright red.
Pavements were roasting
tarmac was melting too,
and trains were halted
stranding passengers in Crewe.
Canines lay around panting
too warm to go for a run,
but beer gardens were packed
as drinkers supped ale in the sun.
People munched on salads
gulped down water instead of tea,
kids dived into paddling pools
or dipped their toes in the sea.
But let’s face reality though
us Brits can’t really handle the heat,
we’re more used to wind and rain
now that’s more up our street !
Hello there, 🙂 You have been open to crit so here goes… 😉 This is a fun poem that many will enjoy. You need to pay attention to rhythm. Read it aloud and see where it falters. example They called it a heatwave and yes it was (very) hot, =take away yet it (only) lasted a week = take away so that’s all we got. They called it a heatwave and yes it was hot, yet it lasted a week so that’s all we got. Now you have the rhythm for the rest to stick to. It makes the reading… Read more »
Hi Alison. Many thanks for reading the poem and your comments. Yes you’re right your version has a better rhythm to mine. I’ll keep it in mind when I do another similar poem. With the football season fast approaching I’ll be writing for two magazines, so that will keep me busy no doubt. Writing football articles takes a different style than writing poems,but you still need to be creative and on the ball, pardon the pun !
All the best anyway.
Cheers : Kevin.
I agree with Alison as far as the rhythm is concerned In fact I just read Alison’s version, and like it.The whole poem reads well and reminded me of an experience my wife and I had many years ago at Reading station on our way to Birmingham.Happy memories.thank you for sharing.Good luck for the football season.I prefer Rugby.(not the place) be lucky, Peter.
Hi Peter. Thanks for your comments. I’m a rugby fan too and we’ve got two sides in Coventry. The Wasps play at the Ricoh our football ground,and Cov rugger club play in the city centre. The Sky Blues are now in League 2 the fourth division in old money ! We’ve got bad owners who have dragged us down. But once a fan always a fan. Cheers anyway : Kevin.