Seduction
You’ve come for me again;
a riddled tongue promising
denouement to malaise.
Are such covenants elixir
or placebo to disease?
Yours is a stoic seduction.
With each new day you disappear
it loiters longer in your wake.
Emancipated from reason
I might once have followed
and escaped the banality of this game,
though I found you more alluring
when you danced upon a grave,
a crooked finger and a whispered name.
Whatever oaths you’ve made
are neither exorcism nor aid
for a repossessed illusion.
Allow me to expand my rhetoric
before your thaumaturgy starts.
I cannot mold myself into boxes
or line them with my shame,
nor can I weave my regret
into a necklace for the moon.
© jolen 2023
Views: 4276
You had all the words under the same roof.. A good read.
Hello Supratik, Thank you for taking the time to read and comment on this piece. I didn’t write anything in the beginning to explain this at all, but perhaps I should have. It was my way of conveying the allure that suicide has over someone when they’re depressed. I hope this finds you well.
blessings,
jolen
I could sense that, especially in the last line, but didn’t dare to put it down. Excellent craft! I enjoyed Gerry’s suggestion very much.
Hey, Supratik, so glad that I wasn’t too obtuse. Thanks for stopping back.
blessings,
jolen
Blimey you have done it again Jolen – After the third reading I have just about got it. What I suggest is that you put a background track on of (Dance Macabre) by Saint-Saens. That will really set it off 😉
gerry xxx
Hi Gerry. I realize it’s a bit more obtuse and wordy than some of my work, but your suggestion is a good one and I thank you for it and your lovely comment. I actually considered putting the audio to ‘flies and blue skies’ by Kings X on here but changed my mind. The lyrics are appropriate though. There’s a thought in my mind And there’s nothing not far behind There’s a road there’s a path There’s a freeway and there’s a map There are flies and blue skies And the just and the unjust all walk side by side… Read more »
Clever poem with more than one interpretation, I feel. Your words and ways with them are always poetic, in the ‘real poetry’ sense that I can’t do but admire in others. the lyrical lull and intellect of the thoughts shared and vocabulary used – my first read of the word ‘thaumaturgy’ (I should get out more!). :^) The title led me to think it was a certain kind of poem, but was then another, if you like. An apt title for the subject matter though. The last 4 lines speak of much insight and wisdom and, most importantly, strength. Thanks… Read more »
Hi Kim Thank you very much. Yes, I chose the title for the play on words as much as the truth of how alluring or seductive the thought of ending it all can be when one is in a dark place in their life. It’s almost like a romance, if you will, whereby the would be suitor tries to convince the afflicted how much easier it would all be and how there would be an end to the agony. I tried to convey that seduction as well as the person being haunted, or seduced finding the power to overcome it.… Read more »
Thank you so much, Trevor. You’ve wowed me again with your lovely comment. I did hope to do this subject justice. I am always curious about how people write or what inspires them, their methods, etc. For me, it’s usually an image or one line that won’t leave me alone until I try to express it. This one gave me a fight for sure. I had the title and last four lines early on, and the riddled tongue, as well as the notion of following them when they danced on a grave, how they had this allure and how it… Read more »
Hello Dear Jolen,
It is difficult to put yourself into the head of someone else at the best of times. How can you admit to being obtuse when you quite eloquently put your take on this deep and painful condition! I’ve never been to that exact place myself, but depression, yes.
I understand the disappearance every day. That is incisive on its own!
Bravo.
OMG! Allen! How fantastic to hear from you. How are you? I think of you often and wonder how you and your lovely wife are doing. Thank you for your very considered comment and for taking the time to visit an old witch. I hope you’re back as I always enjoyed your work a very great deal. In fact, I’m off to see what you have on here now. I’m over the moon to hear from you and well pleased that you enjoyed this piece.
love,
jolen