A Nebulous Memory
There are moments in life we remember with pleasure,
like the birth of one’s son and the first taste of love,
or peripheral events like when the Arsenal won the Cup
or the time Steve Davis became snooker world champion,
but sometimes one wallows in sentimentality and forgets
the dark clouds that occasionally obscured his existence.
but he regrets that he didn’t keep any records of his deeds.
So his imagination roams as he attempts to go back in time
and to clear the mist that envelops his nebulous memory.
He can hear the shrill cry of a girl with pigtails cursing him:
“I hate you, I hate you”, as he viciously tugs her blond hair.
The playground incident makes him wonder whether
he was just being clumsy or developing a cruel streak.
It’s his earliest recollection and one that triggers others.
Faded faces of girls, whose names he’s forgotten, flash by;
had he been a libertine who callously took advantage
or a thoughtful partner who shared his love with them?
Knows that embittered females have made accusations
but recalls that he took a knock when a selfish woman
after getting the child she wanted, left him high and dry.
He reckons that life is driven by a range of emotions,
that love and hate are impulses that hold sway over us,
that accepting life’s ups and downs will show fortitude.
© Luigi Pagano 2017