The Ghost of Christmas
The-GHOST-of-Christmas-3
If you want to be cheered up…avoid like the plague.
What weird malady afflicts me,
thwarts my words from finding voice
or trickle down to paper?
The world I knew
is sepia-tinged.
My thoughts / in stark relief
to jingle bells and merriment.
In the world, yet not of it.
Maybe the wiser choice
to enter silence.
Perhaps my loss of joy
is terminal.
© stormwolf 2023
Views: 4635
We’re two peas in a pod for sure, luv. Cheers me up knowing I’m not alone in my ‘malady’, though I wouldn’t wish it upon you. A few ‘housekeeping’ points for your consideration: one too many ‘p’s in ‘Stops’, and perhaps add a question mark at end of the next line – ‘or trickle down to paper?’ – instead of a period to continue the questioning of the first line? Love the line ‘In the world yet not of it.’ Very evocative and encapsulates the mournful tone of loss ‘in stark relief/to jingle bells and merriment’. May I suggest inserting… Read more »
Hi Bro, Well, I really pondered over the “stopps” because I knew it would strand out like a sore thumb. 😉 I was using it in the context of ‘Stop- to close an opening or hole.’ I thoughts ‘stopps’ was more quaint. (But I fear it’s just more German lol ) I originally had “stopps my words from finding voice” but thought the dooble ‘pp’s there spoke more of the verb ‘stopping. to put an end to ‘etc. rather than closing. Maybe I should revert to the original? “stops my words from finding voice”? I had left the last line… Read more »
I find the thoughts, and ultimately the decisions, that go into the making of a poem, add to its enjoyment, and I thank you, luv, for sharing yours with us. If you feel another poem coming on, good on you! I look forward to reading more of your fine work.
Wolf bro x
Hi Trevor, Many thanks for that. I got up at the crack of dawn to amend the ‘stopps’ as it perturbed me from first posting that it just looked like a spelling mistake and hate to think a poem comes over looking as though I am so careless. I have made a few amendments as in the original, it started off with a finite question. I am asking “what weird malady afflicts me.” I then went on to say the effects of the malady on my creative output. 😉 I then altered the last two lines changing around the ‘perhaps’… Read more »
Yes, I wanted to be cheered up and although I didn’t get my wish I could not ignore this well-crafted poem despite the author’s feelings of dejection. But it is said that for every action there is a reaction and trying to counteract the gloomy thoughts with some optimism may transform that sepia-tinged world into a rosy one.
Best wishes, Luigi.
Hi Luigi 😉 Thanks for risking being contaminated by a dose of gloom. I have come to dread this time of year. Firstly, like Shy, I get seasonal affective disorder caused by the lack of light but also become over sentimental about how it used to be when the kids were young. Then I positively adored Christmas but times have changed. The thing is that I am a person of extremes, so the other side of my coin is very outgoing and loving a good laugh. 😉 I shall rally round, as I have to face a long drive, first… Read more »
Hi Alison this is heavy to say the least but it’s well structured and well crafted as always. I can completely relate to the sentiment and in fact I’m getting on a plane this year to avoid the whole shebang. You have some great word choices that cement the sentiment down in the doldrums. Nicely done, Keith
Thank you Keith. I was catching a deep feeling but I try not to let it linger. Life is too short.
Alison x
Well I felt joy in your words, Stormwolf. Your bus hasn’t reached the terminus yet.
Well that sure made me smile 😉 No, not dead yet!
Alison x