Heirs Apparent

Great expectations.


We stood at the cemetery gate.

Grandma had been despatched

to a new, unknown, destination

and we were going to her wake.

The mourning was quite intense  

although the anguish was fake

or hypocritical, at any rate.

All her life a fiery termagant,

she’d upset the nuclear family

being rude and starting feuds

with relatives young or old;

she was noxious and intolerant

but had a penchant for gold.

She bought loads of ingots

which her inheritors fancied,

thus the lachrymal outpour.

It showed that they cared

and didn’t speak ill of the dead.

Real tears were bound to follow

when her testament was read

to find she’d left her fortune

to the cats home instead.


© Luigi Pagano 2016


© ionicus 2023
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LOL 😉 Excellent Luigi! They say “where’s a will, there’s a relative”
You captured the whole scenario totally. She sounded like a right old battle axe and all. haha 😉
Alison x
pic was great too.


You’re in fine form, Luigi, I didn’t see the punchline at the end coming, which in contrast to the solemn lead-up intensified the comic effect of the poem on me. Thank you for one hell of a belly laugh!


Enjoyed the humour, Luigi. Great last line.


Hi Luigi. I did reply, but those foul hackers have much to answer for. I’m an ex-UKA member who had a break from creative writing sites for a few years. Now trying to reinvent myself. You and I are actually friends on Facebook. Best regards, Mick Treacy.


Excellent craftsmanship, Luigi. It had to be that ending. With relatives like that I’d probably do the same if I could.


Ha Ha well done Luigi I didn’t see the end coming, some really nice descriptive lines here that allow us to connect with the characters and buy in to the whole senario. Very much enjoyed, Keith

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