Life consists of humiliations.
When you are born you are beaten into crying,
everyone is free to manhandle you throughout your childhood,
as a maiden you must be violated
either by rape or hardcore education,
and then you are ready to be victimised by any man.
There is no way out of it except by death,
and your only hope and liberation in this godless world
is your demolishment in darkness by the dark lord,
the only ultimate authority in existence.
Worship him for your ultimate release,
and then you are free to start all over again.
© lailaroth 2023
The poor women of this world who are treated as chattell and are constantly abused and degraded, you clearly feel for them and maintain that their only escape from misery is death wherein they have been led to believe there is the prospect of rebirth. All your poem does is tell the point you wish to make but it does not come alive. You must give the reader an image to latch onto. It’s like a reporter talking to a camera but not showing the suffering woman in her surroundings. I’m sorry for sounding harsh but you have profound and… Read more »
Hardcore education, dark lord worship him ultimate release were all point that turned me off the poem but you get over the angst and I really like the smacked arse at the start. Nemo says show us some of the details and I would agree the sentiment is strong and your reasoning is valid but you over blow it with the references I made at the start. If you don’t want the type of feedback just let me know. Best keith