Under the ice


Being lost in a humanity gone mad
in inhumanity is like being buried
in an ice sea cold under the ice,
while you know better than humanity
but cannot voice it, that it’s humanity
that should be pitied gone to waste
to gradually bury itself alive
in flooded junk of poisonous pollution,
while a singing voice of beauty has no chance
to get heard at all in all the din of nonsense
and not even noticed in the overwhelming noise,
but it keeps singing on insisting on its beauty;
and when all the world of junk is dead
there will still be one voice of beauty singing all alone.


© lailaroth 2023
Views: 1659
critique and comments welcome.
Notify of
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Hi. A good stab but it is just rushed with too many words repeated. When you repeat words in a freeform poem you make the reader think if you are not giving it your all in crafting it, so why would they spend their time reading it? i.e. ‘humanity’ FOUR times in five lines. Lines like “in an ice sea cold under the ice” don’t work and others make no sense at all. Stripped to essentials it reads: If humanity is a senseless sea Then with reason voiced Beneath the polar ice The song’s unheard But for the calving of… Read more »

Flag Content