Baggy Pants

A little homage to those guys with their trouser crotches about their knees.

Baggy Pants

The prick who always masturbates:
an empty skull that resonates;
is on the razz with bastard-mates
displaying his Cro-Magnon traits.

With pick-up lines from toilet walls,
he baggy-pants the snooker halls
then Michael Jacksons both his balls
and slithers sly thru shopping malls.

Vodka-fuelled and seeking thrills;
a wallet full of unpaid bills –
a Jack-the-lad who’s pulling Jills
with crash-test dummy social skills.

Our piss-pot Romeo tries his luck
with breath to make a skunk up-chuck
the doe would like a raunchy buck
she doesn’t need this dribbling schmuck.

His sexist smut jokes fizz and phut:
in the ambience of Pizza Huts
then one last crack about her butt
is how he got the punch-line –

in the nuts.

(c) Paul D E Mitchell

© mitch 2023
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critique and comments welcome.
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You couldn’t have drawn a better picture, Mitch., of such a pathetic creature roaming our streets.


He’s swollen in a painful area and I bet he’s glad he’s got baggy pants. Enyoyed this witty sketch. Gerald.

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